FAB L' STYLE

The values of Love –   There is so much confusion everywhere, and people are dying of lack of love.  So much betrayal, disunity and many don’t even mind killing others to have their way.  Love is a beautiful thing that a hardened criminal will fall for.  Love is lacking in homes, in a circular environment and over all – love is lacking in the world.  People are looking for love unfortunately, in all the wrong places.

January 5th, 2020 was a sad day for me. It was the day that my father passed away.  When I heard the news, I screamed like someone who suddenly had just stepped on a very sharp object.  My husband was shocked asking me why I screamed like that. I told him “my father has gone”. I broke down and wept like a baby.  As the days went on I began to miss my father – His legacy, the values, the training, the discipline of life he installed in his children. While we still have them around please let us experience them, the life-transforming values, Let us overlook some of their excesses. Family is everything and the values we place inside of our children will bring the dividend in our old age.

What are the values parents must instill in their children?

RESPECT –   Our children must be taught to respect one another.  Respect their parents, respect other people and their elders. Everyone on earth deserves respect and we must respect others.  They must become socialized and civilized through the adults around them. We must teach them how to obey the rule of law – obey traffic signs rules. Teach them respect for other people’s timing. Teach them punctuality.

LOVE –  Love is shown to others by being kind.  We need to teach our children to be loving. To love others and be helpful.  It is a beautiful thing when we love others.  Love gives hope to people that things will get better.  They must see us as parents loving one another. They want to see how love looks like in the way we treat them.  Love is letting your child know that he is wrong – Discipline is part of our love for children. We must not withhold discipline from our children.  My father was a disciplinarian and he disciplined me more than any of my siblings and I love him so much for that.  Growing up and seeing the other world made me appreciate my father and all his efforts.  Our love for our children will make us discipline our children when necessary – None of us will watch our children about to drink poison and we would take drastic action to keep them from drinking it. Of course, as good parents we would do all we can to protect them from danger.  Love is so powerful that it can be felt. It can be touched and seen when properly expressed.

Love is what today’s world needs – smile at someone, assist someone in need. Just being nice to others is a sign that you are contributing your quota to the world.   Let your children share love for each other and they will copy. Love is a great value to give to the children and to the world.

APPRECIATION –  This is expressed through being grateful for everything.  Sometimes we are not able to see what we have because we admired too much what others have.  We must be grateful for whatever we have.  We must teach our children to be grateful.  To say thank you when something is done for them, whether they like it or not.  Parents must teach their children to be grateful for what they have. We must  show appreciation to them for the house chores they do – thank you, Andrew. I sent my little son to throw out trash and he came back and was expecting me to say ‘thank you. I didn’t know when he did the assignment because I was busy with something else.  He said ‘Mummy you are welcome”.   Value of gratitude must be inculcated into the life of our children.

CONTENTMENT –  This is a state of joy, peace, and satisfaction.  This is a state in which you are happy and fulfilled with what you have or do.  ‘But godliness with contentment is a great gain’ 1 Timothy 6:6.  It is a great blessing to feel good in yourself.  You are not trying to be somebody else.  You are satisfied with yourself.  You are okay.  Discontentment has led people into doing all manners of evil and ungodly things.  Tell your children to be happy with their parents.  Some children are ashamed of their parents – probably because they are not rich or not very educated.  A child who values will be grateful and be satisfied with the parental status. He or she will be satisfied with what the parents have to offer.  Our children must be contented and not let envy or greed destroy God’s blessing upon their lives. We must let them know that they are unique and blessed with gifts that the world is looking for and gently remind them that their destinies are great.

SHARING – Looking around and you will see selfishness.  Everyone wants everything to him or herself.  Nobody wants to share.  We must encourage our children to share what they have with others.  It could be food, clothes or toys. While growing up I met a couple that would rather allow the foods to get rotten than sharing them with others. My parents taught us how to share the little we have. I grew up to know that the little I have can be shared. So, we must teach our children to learn to share whatever they have with others. One of my daughters when we are getting ready for church, would go and prepare food to take along. Later on, I got to know that there was a homeless man close to the Church she feeds every Sunday, when I got to know about it, I encouraged her to do more. At school, they should also share their knowledge with the other students.

GREETINGS – We must teach our children to value greetings.  We must teach them to greet us in the morning and when they are back from school.  They must greet guests in our homes. Our children must be taught how to greet others.  It is very important.  When they learn this value even when they have long times left us and are alone, they will always call back to say, ‘hello mummy or hello daddy”.  It is a value that we must teach our children. In a world that everyone walks solo. Hello! Hi! Asking someone looking miserable if he is okay.

HELP – Our children must be taught how to help us at home. At a tender age, we must teach them how to help us in the kitchen, help us with laundry, with a cup of tea.  Help you with house chores.  Help fix something.  I was virtually doing everything for my older children, and it got so overwhelming that they wanted me to do everything for them.  If I didn’t cook, they would not want to eat what someone else would cook. So, I started to engage them in the kitchen and cooking and was happy when they moved out to live alone because I know they can cope.  So, I always engage the younger one to make sure, he is engaged in the daily running of the home.  He is 10 years old and when I come back from shopping, he helps me to unpack the things from the car and arrange them in their respective places.  He writes out shopping lists for me because he has always been engaged in the running of the home affairs. Everyone must be taught to do the same jobs at home. They can be rotated. When I was growing up. Ladies’ duties were always in the kitchen because that is the culture, but my mummy changed it because she has four boys. So she engaged them in the kitchen affairs. She made sure they entered the kitchen and prepared their meals. Today, they cook better than their wives. We must learn to engage our children to help us.

It is not too late to inculcate into our children good values that will help them.  There is no limit to learning.  Whatever may be their age, we should teach them good morals that you will be proud of the children you have raised to be blessings to their generations.

In our world today, good, quality and lasting values are fast eroding. When I look at the youth of today, our growing children. Some values are lacking, and it is the responsibility of the parents to do their jobs.  In our world today noble behavior is becoming rare and becoming an impossible task for many, we can always sweeten the world through our children that bring beauty to their environment.

Victoria Okuneye

 

TOP

FAB L’Style is an international Fashion & Lifestyle magazine with a focus on emerging markets.